Listen to this.

There are four very good things about Belgium:

1. Waffles.

2. Chocolate.

3. Diamonds.

4. French.

Listening to French is like eating candy, wearing Gucci, dancing the Argentine tango, especially after hearing Dutch all the time. Candy, I tell you.

How is my Dutch coming along, you might ask? Well. There are some factors playing into my drive to learn it:

1. We ended up being unable to locate a convenient and affordable Dutch language course.

2. It's really, really difficult.

3. It's pointless. The vast majority of the people who speak Dutch (which, let's remember, is a very low number worldwide) also speak English.

4. Dutch people repeatedly tell me that it's pointless.

5. It's ugly.

There. I said it. The Dutch language is highly unpleasant to listen to. No offense to the speakers of said language. I'm sorry. I'm not saying my language is beautiful. I doubt it is.

When I got here, I realized the first two points, and caught up with the third as my time here progressed. I still wanted to learn it, though, because:

1. It's still a skill.

2. Conditions for learning it are perfect.

3. It'd be great random fun to say, "Yeah, I speak Dutch."

But then I really listened to it. And I nearly went out of my mind.

This is all not to say I'm not picking up a few things. (Emphasis on few.) I'm just sort of leaving it at those.

That is all also not to say there aren't some highlights to this language.

1. kikker -- frog

2. schat -- treasure; used as a term of endearment

3. knuffle -- hug