Unquotable.

On Jack's first night in Europe, he woke me up at 3:00 am to ask the all-important question, "How do you flush the toilet?" Three minutes later he came back in to ask, "Where is the light?" So began the list of the Trip's Best Quotes. For the sake of the stupid in all of us, I will leave them unattributed, except when attributing them makes them even more funny. At least to me.

"How do you flush the toilet?"

"Oh, I'm not doing that."

"I can't even stand to look at them anymore." (in reference to honey-roasted peanuts)

"It's gonna be a long time before I eat another sausage."

(three days later) "What's it take to get a sausage around here?"

"You sit on it, you eat it."

"To roll over that one night I had to get up, go outside, turn around, and go back in."

"I used the women's bathroom." (it goes without saying that I do this; therefore it should be obvious that I am not the one who said it)

"She was pretty cranky." (in reference to the woman in the women's bathroom)

"They shouldn't have them out there if they didn't want me to eat them."

"Just because you can fit 15 billion in China doesn't mean you can fit them all in a church."

"It was like a communion buffet."

"Berlin is quaint."

"Peanuts are my favorite thing to travel with. They go everywhere with me."

"I buried this little guy. Almost forgot I had him."

"I usually try to fall asleep with it out."

"Where's the flight station?"

"If that pigeon shits on me it'll be the last shit he ever takes."

"Jack and I are going to look for scarves." (Joel)

"Wrap it in bacon and throw it in the dehydrator."

"You can still get two more blows on it."

"Do you want to take your dress off for dinner." (woman at the table in the corner, we think to her daughter but there was a large column blocking our view)

"I bet you could put a lot of chili in that thing."

"Why do people only want to paint pictures of the little baby Jesus?"