Where I come from, we tried to avoid situations like these.

When I think Spain, I think bullfight. Not so much with Portugal, but as it turns out, it's a beloved tradition there, as well. Portuguese bullfighting is also far more interesting than Spanish bullfighting.

For starters, the Portuguese cavaleiros fight on horseback. They also don't kill the bull -- which is why they're not called matadors. Killing the bull is illegal in Portugal.

At the fight I attended, there were two cavaleiros, a father and son, and one Spanish matador, so I got to see the best of both worlds, without the killing (I caught that in Spain a few days later). As I said, killing the bull is illegal, so the matador takes a little spear and drives it into the bull's back, instead of using a sword. Same motion, different result.

Sometimes, says my Lisbon friend, the crowd starts chanting, "Kill! Kill! Kill!" when a Portuguese ring hosts a Spanish matador. Sometimes, the matador does it. Always, he goes to jail.

We start with a cavaleiro. He dances around, gets the bull to chase him a bit,



then backs away, lifts his spear,



and runs toward the bull, which by that point is generally running toward him. He fakes right, goes left, and uses his right hand to drive the spear into the bull's back. Applause, applause. This is repeated about six times.

Then the best part.

The cavaleiro leaves, and these eight little men in brown suits jump over the fence. (For today, their official titles will be "Loonies".) One of the loonies puts on a little elf hat and approaches the bull. (Well, struts toward the bull. There is a lot of strutting in the bullfighting ring.) The looney gets closer and closer until the bull charges him. (Which sometimes takes awhile -- the bulls are awfully tired by this point.)

The looney then grabs the bull's head and holds on. A second looney jumps on the first looney, and then five other loonies dog pile the bull's head. The eighth looney grabs his tail. And there they sit, eight loonies and a bull, who is bewildered, I've no doubt.



The seven loonies simultaneously spring away, leaving the eighth looney holding a bull's tail.



The remaining looney, holding tight, gets the bull to pull him in a circle. He jumps away when he's had enough, struts out of the ring,



and that's the end of round one.

Then cavaleiro #2 did his thing,



then we had the matador.

None of these guys works alone, by the way. There are a handful of other matador-esque people with pink capes (for lack of the actual term) who distract or rile up the bull, as appropriate.

More on Spanish bullfighting when my entries catch up to Madrid, which is soon. Just to get a little taste, here is a shot of our hero in Portugal. Note that he has his red cape. This means we're nearing the end -- he actually starts with a pink cape, like his matador-helpers. By the time he gets the red cape, he has sword in hand and he's working alone.