I feel a little silly. Back here. I'm here, and everything was as it was when I left -- it feels like I didn't leave at all. And if it weren't for the physical proof -- the museum ticket stubs, the train schedules, the pictures -- I would have a hard time believing I was actually there.
So now. Do I keep writing this thing or not? It seems that interest has waned, and no wonder -- things are bound to be less exciting now that I'm holed up in snowy Vermillion.
But I'm determined to pick them up again soon. I'm not sure where I'll be going or what I'll be doing in the next few months, but it'll be something fun and maybe even something worth reading about. I'll debate awhile, and probably either keep blogging here, or I'll start a new one. Unless you, reader, are totally disinterested. Then there's not much point.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Where the deer and the antelope play.
After 13 hours in planes and about 10 more hours waiting for planes, I made it back to Rapid City.
I could launch into how weird this feels, but I'll spare you for now, at least until I get my thoughts organized.
On Saturday evening, I cried my way to Tilburg after saying good bye to the family. Ruud and I went out with a bunch of his friends -- because it was Carnaval! I'll get some pictures up in a few days. We had a great time, and rolled home around 3:30 -- pretty early, by Carnaval standards.
On Sunday we went to the parade. It started at 1:00, but it didn't get to our spot on the street until almost 3:00. It was over around 5:00, but the party on the street was just gearing up. There were so many people, young and old alike, drinking and having a great time. There was a DJ right across the street from us, so even though we were outside, we had to yell to be heard during conversations.
On Monday I repacked, trying to guess how heavy my suitcases were. I ended up leaving a lot of stuff behind for Ruud to bring when he visits this summer.
On Tuesday we woke up at 5:30 and drove to the airport in Brussels so Ruud could get back in time for work. And I was off.
And here I am. In America. Weird.
I could launch into how weird this feels, but I'll spare you for now, at least until I get my thoughts organized.
On Saturday evening, I cried my way to Tilburg after saying good bye to the family. Ruud and I went out with a bunch of his friends -- because it was Carnaval! I'll get some pictures up in a few days. We had a great time, and rolled home around 3:30 -- pretty early, by Carnaval standards.
On Sunday we went to the parade. It started at 1:00, but it didn't get to our spot on the street until almost 3:00. It was over around 5:00, but the party on the street was just gearing up. There were so many people, young and old alike, drinking and having a great time. There was a DJ right across the street from us, so even though we were outside, we had to yell to be heard during conversations.
On Monday I repacked, trying to guess how heavy my suitcases were. I ended up leaving a lot of stuff behind for Ruud to bring when he visits this summer.
On Tuesday we woke up at 5:30 and drove to the airport in Brussels so Ruud could get back in time for work. And I was off.
And here I am. In America. Weird.
Monday, February 19, 2007
I suppose in the end the thing that makes one like a place is one's affection for the people one knows there.
On Saturday, I said good-bye to my family.
We had a party for me. It was small but perfect -- all the right people where there: Oma and Opa, Cees and Martine and Ties, Rens and Eefje, Lieke, Ruud, Bas, Rik, Willem, and Stefan, Carley (who is back visiting for Carnaval) and of course the kids. Notable absences were Harrie and Toos, who had already left for their vacation, and Lieke's Willem, who was playing in a tennis tournament.
We talked, ate Chinese, indulged in the chocolate fountain. Ed was my first good-bye. Easy enough, because he doesn't know what's going on.
Kate was a toughie. My little Kate, my sweet bear, mijn beste meisje, especially during these last few weeks. She suddenly got really tired, started crying and screaming, and wanted little to do with me at the time -- she was just begging to go to bed. She refused to hug me, even. Tragic. So after Carien put her in bed, I hurried up there, hoping to still catch her awake.
I've spent the last few weeks talking about my leaving, knowing that it would be a difficult concept for her to grasp and remember. But everytime I talked about it, she got quiet and sad, then asked if I was taking a vliegtuig to Amerika.
She was still awake when I got up there, so I went in and sat on her bed. She was still recovering from her crying fit. I told her I just wanted to say good-bye, because I was leaving that night and wouldn't get to see her again for a long time. She started crying and trying to scramble out of bed. "Ik ook mee!" she kept saying: "I'll go, too."
I paused to compose myself before rejoining the party.
Then it was Pete and Carl. I went to read them a story. There was a small fight, which I won't get into, but it resulted in Carl going to his bed and me reading a story only to Pete. He paused me halfway through:
"Are you going to cry when you get home?"
"Ja, schat, I'm pretty sure I will," I said. "I'm going to miss you."
Then, so quiet, so sincere and vulnerable and perfect, he said, "I'm going to miss you, too." And he started crying.
I held him a while, said I'd come back to visit, but it just wasn't enough. So I told him I'd call him next Saturday when they get home from their ski vacation, and I'll ask for him and pretend to be one of his girlfriends from school. That made him laugh. He told me I had to do it in Dutch.
Carl came over, wanting to be read to after all. We finished the book. I tucked Pete in, then went to Carl's room where he was curled up on the bed. He ignored me when I spoke and kept covering his head -- typical for when he's upset. I told him I'd miss him. He didn't say anything. I told him if he ever wanted to send me a message, to just tell the constellations and they would bring it to me the next night. I suggested going through Orion. He spun around immediately.
"Does that work real?"
"We'll have to try it."
Good night. Good-bye.
Then it was good-bye to Rick and Carien -- my bosses, my co-workers, my friends. So many thank yous. So many tears.
As Ruud drove me away, I looked back to the big window where I had sat with the kids many times, teaching Ed how to wave good-bye to whomever was driving away to work -- and there were Rick and Carien, waving good-bye to me.
I couldn't stop crying.
We had a party for me. It was small but perfect -- all the right people where there: Oma and Opa, Cees and Martine and Ties, Rens and Eefje, Lieke, Ruud, Bas, Rik, Willem, and Stefan, Carley (who is back visiting for Carnaval) and of course the kids. Notable absences were Harrie and Toos, who had already left for their vacation, and Lieke's Willem, who was playing in a tennis tournament.
We talked, ate Chinese, indulged in the chocolate fountain. Ed was my first good-bye. Easy enough, because he doesn't know what's going on.
Kate was a toughie. My little Kate, my sweet bear, mijn beste meisje, especially during these last few weeks. She suddenly got really tired, started crying and screaming, and wanted little to do with me at the time -- she was just begging to go to bed. She refused to hug me, even. Tragic. So after Carien put her in bed, I hurried up there, hoping to still catch her awake.
I've spent the last few weeks talking about my leaving, knowing that it would be a difficult concept for her to grasp and remember. But everytime I talked about it, she got quiet and sad, then asked if I was taking a vliegtuig to Amerika.
She was still awake when I got up there, so I went in and sat on her bed. She was still recovering from her crying fit. I told her I just wanted to say good-bye, because I was leaving that night and wouldn't get to see her again for a long time. She started crying and trying to scramble out of bed. "Ik ook mee!" she kept saying: "I'll go, too."
I paused to compose myself before rejoining the party.
Then it was Pete and Carl. I went to read them a story. There was a small fight, which I won't get into, but it resulted in Carl going to his bed and me reading a story only to Pete. He paused me halfway through:
"Are you going to cry when you get home?"
"Ja, schat, I'm pretty sure I will," I said. "I'm going to miss you."
Then, so quiet, so sincere and vulnerable and perfect, he said, "I'm going to miss you, too." And he started crying.
I held him a while, said I'd come back to visit, but it just wasn't enough. So I told him I'd call him next Saturday when they get home from their ski vacation, and I'll ask for him and pretend to be one of his girlfriends from school. That made him laugh. He told me I had to do it in Dutch.
Carl came over, wanting to be read to after all. We finished the book. I tucked Pete in, then went to Carl's room where he was curled up on the bed. He ignored me when I spoke and kept covering his head -- typical for when he's upset. I told him I'd miss him. He didn't say anything. I told him if he ever wanted to send me a message, to just tell the constellations and they would bring it to me the next night. I suggested going through Orion. He spun around immediately.
"Does that work real?"
"We'll have to try it."
Good night. Good-bye.
Then it was good-bye to Rick and Carien -- my bosses, my co-workers, my friends. So many thank yous. So many tears.
As Ruud drove me away, I looked back to the big window where I had sat with the kids many times, teaching Ed how to wave good-bye to whomever was driving away to work -- and there were Rick and Carien, waving good-bye to me.
I couldn't stop crying.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
13 Months of Details
THE TRAVELS
Number of countries visited: 15
Longest train ride: 13 hours (Utrecht to Warsaw)
Longest wait in a train station: 7 hours (Warsaw)
Most expensive flight: $751 (Amsterdam to Omaha, NE)
Least expensive flight: 6,00 euros -- 20,00 euros after tax (Glasgow to Amsterdam)
Favorite cities: Zagreb, Dublin, London, Innsbruck
Favorite paintings: The Lion Hunt, Peter Paul Rubens (National Gallery, London), The Execution of Lady Jane Grey, Paul Delaroche (National Gallery, London), For the Road, Jack Yeats (National Gallery, Dublin), La Chasse aux Lions, Eugene Delacroix (Musee d'Orsay, Paris), Origin of the Milky Way, Jacopo Tintoretto (National Gallery, London)
Favorite museums: Torture Museum (Prague), National Gallery (London and Dublin), MUMOK (Vienna)
Favorite chocolate museum: Barcelona
Favorite purchases: photo album (Krakow), boots ('s-Hertogenbosch)
Best vantage points: Artist's Sit (Edinburgh), Alps (Innsbruck)
Best scenery: Alps (Innsbruck), train ride from Budapest to Zagreb
Favorite books read: Lamb, Angela's Ashes, Made in America
Favorite new food: fuejoada
Least favorite new food: pig face
Best eating experience: Poland
Favorite nightlife experience: live reggae and dancing (Dublin)
Best theatrical productions: Phantom of the Opera (London), The Cut (London), Night of the Iguana (London)
Most meaningful experience: Auschwitz
Best castle: Edinburgh
Favorite shopping experience: Great Market (Budapest)
Number of strangers proposing marriage: 7
Number of new shoes (in pairs, flip flips included): 8
Number of visitors from the USA: 6 (Drew, Jack, Joel, Shauna, Megan, Rick's Mom)
Number of strangers' homes I stayed in: 12
Number of times I walked home from Den Bosch instead of waiting for the bus: 9
Second stupidest moment: First of all, there are two kinds of stupid. There's poor judgment stupid, which we're not going to get into. And there's embarrassing stupid. The top embarrassing stupid moment we're also not going to get into. So, the second stupidest moment is when I got fined on the train. It was a short ride from Tilburg to Den Bosch -- about 15 minutes. I had gotten up early, right after Ruud left for work, and was in a hurry to get home and start my day. I wanted to limit the time I would have to wait for the bus, so knowing buses leave around 25 minutes after the hour, I wanted to take a train that would get me there just before then. My best option was the one leaving at quarter till 9:00. I rushed out the door, hurried and bought my ticket, and hopped onboard. I have a discount card, which gives me 40% off the price of domestic tickets....except before 9:00 am. I was in a hurry. So I wasn't thinking about the time in terms of what hour it was, just how many minutes before that hour it was. Sometimes the ticket guys don't check. Today they did. He was in our car minutes after departure. At that point I still hadn't realized I had done anything incorrectly. I handed him my ticket. He said something in Dutch, which I didn't understand, and told him as much. He pointed to the time, and said it's too early. I about fell over. After buying the normally priced ticket (4,20 or something) and paying the fine (35,00), my 2,00-euro, 15 minute trip cost me a total of more than 40,00. The train was stopping in Den Bosch just as the ticket man was giving me my change.
Worst idea: We'd better not get into that, either.
Favorite moments: There are dozens, hundreds, but here are a few. The backyard barbecue in Segovia, fuejoada night in Edinburgh, first day alone in London, wine drinking with Carien in Kirchheim, lip sync contest with the whole family in Kirchheim, the drive to Paris, climbing trees in Hoge Veluwe, Sinterklaas, dancing to reggae in Dublin, Auschwitz, poker with Marcin and Patrick in Warsaw, the cow hunt in Lisbon, dancing in Barcelona, the first time I recognized a painting by Rubens without seeing his name, talking with Kruno and Neven till 5:30 am...
THE KIDS
Scariest moments: Pete falling from the tree, Ed falling from his high chair
Angriest moment: Pete spitting at me
Number of times I considered taking the next flight home: 3 (pretty good, considering I was here for 13 months)
Biggest boo-boo: shrinking Carien's clothes in the dryer
Best moments: kids waking me up on my birthday and before they left for California, Carl winning his bike race, the treasure hunt, Christmas Eve, Kate going through a phase where she would run to meet me every time I came up the driveway after a walk or run, Kate begging me to do yoga with her, Ed falling asleep on my chest, long conversations with the older boys about constellations, natural disasters, and cows, the millions of funny things they say, all the rare nights when the boys did as they were told and we had fun getting ready for bed, reading to them, giving them presents...
Number of diapers changed: approximately 4.2 million
Number of countries visited: 15
Longest train ride: 13 hours (Utrecht to Warsaw)
Longest wait in a train station: 7 hours (Warsaw)
Most expensive flight: $751 (Amsterdam to Omaha, NE)
Least expensive flight: 6,00 euros -- 20,00 euros after tax (Glasgow to Amsterdam)
Favorite cities: Zagreb, Dublin, London, Innsbruck
Favorite paintings: The Lion Hunt, Peter Paul Rubens (National Gallery, London), The Execution of Lady Jane Grey, Paul Delaroche (National Gallery, London), For the Road, Jack Yeats (National Gallery, Dublin), La Chasse aux Lions, Eugene Delacroix (Musee d'Orsay, Paris), Origin of the Milky Way, Jacopo Tintoretto (National Gallery, London)
Favorite museums: Torture Museum (Prague), National Gallery (London and Dublin), MUMOK (Vienna)
Favorite chocolate museum: Barcelona
Favorite purchases: photo album (Krakow), boots ('s-Hertogenbosch)
Best vantage points: Artist's Sit (Edinburgh), Alps (Innsbruck)
Best scenery: Alps (Innsbruck), train ride from Budapest to Zagreb
Favorite books read: Lamb, Angela's Ashes, Made in America
Favorite new food: fuejoada
Least favorite new food: pig face
Best eating experience: Poland
Favorite nightlife experience: live reggae and dancing (Dublin)
Best theatrical productions: Phantom of the Opera (London), The Cut (London), Night of the Iguana (London)
Most meaningful experience: Auschwitz
Best castle: Edinburgh
Favorite shopping experience: Great Market (Budapest)
Number of strangers proposing marriage: 7
Number of new shoes (in pairs, flip flips included): 8
Number of visitors from the USA: 6 (Drew, Jack, Joel, Shauna, Megan, Rick's Mom)
Number of strangers' homes I stayed in: 12
Number of times I walked home from Den Bosch instead of waiting for the bus: 9
Second stupidest moment: First of all, there are two kinds of stupid. There's poor judgment stupid, which we're not going to get into. And there's embarrassing stupid. The top embarrassing stupid moment we're also not going to get into. So, the second stupidest moment is when I got fined on the train. It was a short ride from Tilburg to Den Bosch -- about 15 minutes. I had gotten up early, right after Ruud left for work, and was in a hurry to get home and start my day. I wanted to limit the time I would have to wait for the bus, so knowing buses leave around 25 minutes after the hour, I wanted to take a train that would get me there just before then. My best option was the one leaving at quarter till 9:00. I rushed out the door, hurried and bought my ticket, and hopped onboard. I have a discount card, which gives me 40% off the price of domestic tickets....except before 9:00 am. I was in a hurry. So I wasn't thinking about the time in terms of what hour it was, just how many minutes before that hour it was. Sometimes the ticket guys don't check. Today they did. He was in our car minutes after departure. At that point I still hadn't realized I had done anything incorrectly. I handed him my ticket. He said something in Dutch, which I didn't understand, and told him as much. He pointed to the time, and said it's too early. I about fell over. After buying the normally priced ticket (4,20 or something) and paying the fine (35,00), my 2,00-euro, 15 minute trip cost me a total of more than 40,00. The train was stopping in Den Bosch just as the ticket man was giving me my change.
Worst idea: We'd better not get into that, either.
Favorite moments: There are dozens, hundreds, but here are a few. The backyard barbecue in Segovia, fuejoada night in Edinburgh, first day alone in London, wine drinking with Carien in Kirchheim, lip sync contest with the whole family in Kirchheim, the drive to Paris, climbing trees in Hoge Veluwe, Sinterklaas, dancing to reggae in Dublin, Auschwitz, poker with Marcin and Patrick in Warsaw, the cow hunt in Lisbon, dancing in Barcelona, the first time I recognized a painting by Rubens without seeing his name, talking with Kruno and Neven till 5:30 am...
THE KIDS
Scariest moments: Pete falling from the tree, Ed falling from his high chair
Angriest moment: Pete spitting at me
Number of times I considered taking the next flight home: 3 (pretty good, considering I was here for 13 months)
Biggest boo-boo: shrinking Carien's clothes in the dryer
Best moments: kids waking me up on my birthday and before they left for California, Carl winning his bike race, the treasure hunt, Christmas Eve, Kate going through a phase where she would run to meet me every time I came up the driveway after a walk or run, Kate begging me to do yoga with her, Ed falling asleep on my chest, long conversations with the older boys about constellations, natural disasters, and cows, the millions of funny things they say, all the rare nights when the boys did as they were told and we had fun getting ready for bed, reading to them, giving them presents...
Number of diapers changed: approximately 4.2 million
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Paris!
Our trip to Paris was a success. There was plenty of food and walking. We even managed to shop for an entire day. And Ruud liked it. He really did. He bought a tie and some socks.
Since we have both been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, we opted instead to go to the top of the Arc d'Triomphe, from which the world looks like this:
We also happened to witness a proposal. We went to the Louvre, of course (Mona is looking as lovely as ever) and the Musee d'Orsay, which houses a magnificent collection of works by French artists.
On Monday we left early and stopped in Gent, Belgium for a few hours. We wanted waffles, which were actually sort of hard to come by at this time of year. We wandered until we found the castle near the hostel where I stayed when I was in Gent eight years ago. I have now re-visited all the cities I saw on my first trip to Europe. And just in time.
On Monday we left early and stopped in Gent, Belgium for a few hours. We wanted waffles, which were actually sort of hard to come by at this time of year. We wandered until we found the castle near the hostel where I stayed when I was in Gent eight years ago. I have now re-visited all the cities I saw on my first trip to Europe. And just in time.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Drinking and other habits.
My European lifestyle helped me to adopt the following habits, for better or worse.
* Wine.
* Tea.
* Coffee (well, good cappuccino or coffee with milk at a ratio of 1:5, but we're working on it).
My liquid intake is still largely made up of water, but it now also includes those things, which I rarely (and in coffee's case, practically never) included at home. But now probably will.
In addition:
* Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day at lunch. It was born out of necessity, as my other option was meat and cheese every day at lunch, and that I definitely don't like. I've always liked PB&J. I still do. I just don't really want to eat another one for a long, long time.
* Television. Throughout my life, I haven't watched very much. At home before I left, my only real television craving was Reno 911! and the occasional Will & Grace. Indeed, the first two weeks I got here I didn't even turn on the television in my room -- it just never occurred to me to do so. Then, one night, lying there sick and bored out of my mind, I thought, "Ah, television, it will help me learn Dutch." So I turned it on, and found that it was made of approximately 90% English shows. But I kept at it, and gradually grew to love Grey's Anatomy, Law and Order, CSI: New York, America's Next Top Model, and any movie of the week they want to offer up. Luckily, as an actor and continual student of theatre, I get to call such habits "research." I still feel somewhat guilty, though, because it wastes a lot of time. This is one habit that's going to go. Except for maybe Grey's Anatomy.
* Boring workouts. I don't even know how that happened. I just want a gym, for heaven sake. And that I will have, so very soon, and my workouts will be boring no longer.
* Nice dinners. I used to more or less hate restaurants, because I hated to spend a great deal of money on food that was usually just so-so. I would always order soup. I liked it, and it was cheap. Not anymore. I'm really starting to appreciate good food. I admire stylish presentation. I delight in lingering at the table for as long as we want, without having to worry about the waiter trying to rush us out. I also delight in cooking nice dinners. After making pasta about 200 times for picky kids, it feels good to make something that includes actual spices and doesn't involve a noodle.
* Staying in. It's not unusual for a friend to have to talk me into getting out of my pajamas and joining them at the bar, but I would usually do it. Of course, the bar was in walking distance, or I could drive myself if I wasn't planning to drink. Here, if I'm not in Tilburg with Ruud, the bar is several miles away, and the trip home almost always involved a taxi. Plus, we never even went out until 11:00 pm or so. By then, if I'm not going out, I'm in bed. So I grew accustomed to going to bed early, even more so than I used to. Friends, help me.
* Flossing. I'm not sure where that one came from, as I've been anti-floss (it totally disgusts me) for as long as I can remember. But one evening, about two weeks ago, I pulled a strand from the little container and began what I can only call a flossing habit. My dentist will be so proud.
* Wine.
* Tea.
* Coffee (well, good cappuccino or coffee with milk at a ratio of 1:5, but we're working on it).
My liquid intake is still largely made up of water, but it now also includes those things, which I rarely (and in coffee's case, practically never) included at home. But now probably will.
In addition:
* Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day at lunch. It was born out of necessity, as my other option was meat and cheese every day at lunch, and that I definitely don't like. I've always liked PB&J. I still do. I just don't really want to eat another one for a long, long time.
* Television. Throughout my life, I haven't watched very much. At home before I left, my only real television craving was Reno 911! and the occasional Will & Grace. Indeed, the first two weeks I got here I didn't even turn on the television in my room -- it just never occurred to me to do so. Then, one night, lying there sick and bored out of my mind, I thought, "Ah, television, it will help me learn Dutch." So I turned it on, and found that it was made of approximately 90% English shows. But I kept at it, and gradually grew to love Grey's Anatomy, Law and Order, CSI: New York, America's Next Top Model, and any movie of the week they want to offer up. Luckily, as an actor and continual student of theatre, I get to call such habits "research." I still feel somewhat guilty, though, because it wastes a lot of time. This is one habit that's going to go. Except for maybe Grey's Anatomy.
* Boring workouts. I don't even know how that happened. I just want a gym, for heaven sake. And that I will have, so very soon, and my workouts will be boring no longer.
* Nice dinners. I used to more or less hate restaurants, because I hated to spend a great deal of money on food that was usually just so-so. I would always order soup. I liked it, and it was cheap. Not anymore. I'm really starting to appreciate good food. I admire stylish presentation. I delight in lingering at the table for as long as we want, without having to worry about the waiter trying to rush us out. I also delight in cooking nice dinners. After making pasta about 200 times for picky kids, it feels good to make something that includes actual spices and doesn't involve a noodle.
* Staying in. It's not unusual for a friend to have to talk me into getting out of my pajamas and joining them at the bar, but I would usually do it. Of course, the bar was in walking distance, or I could drive myself if I wasn't planning to drink. Here, if I'm not in Tilburg with Ruud, the bar is several miles away, and the trip home almost always involved a taxi. Plus, we never even went out until 11:00 pm or so. By then, if I'm not going out, I'm in bed. So I grew accustomed to going to bed early, even more so than I used to. Friends, help me.
* Flossing. I'm not sure where that one came from, as I've been anti-floss (it totally disgusts me) for as long as I can remember. But one evening, about two weeks ago, I pulled a strand from the little container and began what I can only call a flossing habit. My dentist will be so proud.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)